Trust the gut!

I'll never forget the day...

It was late July and I was told at the last minute we were going to a cookout at my in laws house. I dreaded going because things were going terribly between us. Everyday was a struggle to look him in the eye. I remember sitting on their back deck that evening looking at the pool, thinking about what the yard used to look like before they put that pool in. That was a long time ago. I remember when they first mentioned putting one in and we all envisioned summer cookouts and late night swims. I remember when they dug the hole and they hid Easter eggs in it. I won that year and my brother in laws got mad. I remember them rebuilding the deck and staining it. It was beautiful and so big. I remember the very first cookout we had on that deck...just as well as I remember my last.

I thought to myself that July night, "7 years...that's a long and overdue run. I can feel it. This is it. This is my last time at this house. Everything is about to change." I was right. The next week I asked for the divorce and the week after that I was out of the apartment. I knew that would be my last time. They say "When you know...you know."

Does that work more ways than one? Are gut instincts that on par?

About a month or two after I left, I told Chris I had a feeling in the pit of stomach something was about to happen. No less than a half hour later, my ex-husband called my work phone and got ugly with me. Multiple incidents such as this have occurred since. I must really be on my game when I have to be. Maybe it's like fight or flight- you have the adrenaline when it's needed except this is I have the gut instincts when I need them to protect myself.