With that being said, a LOT has changed since I last blogged. I am officially divorced (praise the Lord!), I have taken back my maiden name, and I have a new job. It's almost like a new identity and I can really start over. I feel like a weight has been lifted. There are still some things I wish I could change but I also know part of the lesson I was supposed to learn in all of this is patience. I will also never take a shower for granted ever again.
Moving forward, I want to take a moment to discuss something that's been on my mind for a long time and that is The Golden Couples. Our parent's and grand-parent's that have been married for 50 or more years are the most inspiring couples. My great-grandparent's (Nan and Grandaddy) were married for close to 70 years when they were parted by death. While I can appreciate the length of time they were married, I always wondered if they were truly happy. Nan would tell me how she was engaged to another man when she met Grandaddy and when asked to choose between the two, she chose my great-grandfather. Yes, very Notebook-esque. As I grew older, she would then confide in me "I always wondered if my life would have been different if I had married the other gentleman. I don't know what ever happened to him." I suppose it would be normal to wonder these things.
My grand-parent's (Nanna and Poppa) have been married for 53 years this November. I always thought their story was a fairy tale until I was told the story of the bet. My great-grandmother hated Poppa and said their marriage would never last. My Poppa exclaimed "As long as you are living, our marriage will last!" The woman just died a few years ago...
Back in February, I read the below article. I think we can all appreciate the love and devotion between this husband and wife.
On Valentine's Day we highlight the story of Pershing and Margaret Mays. Margaret is 94 and Pershing turns 94 in March.
But their home is a little quieter these days. Pershing Mays' wife of nearly 71 years no longer is able to live here with him. She's now living out her days in a nursing home, struggling with health issues and dementia.
When asked if it was kind of lonely now. "Yeah, it's hard being by yourself," Pershing said.
Pershing and Margaret have known each other their whole lives. They went from grade school through high school together. They even got married in the fourth grade in a Tom Thumb wedding, never knowing it would be their true destiny. Pershing remembers it well.
"We had a teacher that got that thing up and put us as man and wife as Mr. Coolidge, Mr. and Mrs. Coolidge, that was the president at the time."
But many believe the death of their daughter Margaret Ellen back in 2004 led to Margaret's downfall. Ellen had a five year battle with ovarian cancer before she finally passed away..
"And all that time I think it probably affected Margaret. And every time since Ellen died until Margaret got into this position she's in now, but every time you'd mention Ellen, she would cry."
Pershing doesn't spend a lot of time here anyway. In fact he doesn't spend a single day without her. Every day without fail he gets himself up and dressed and makes the trip. Six long miles each way.
"It's not so bad in the daytime, but sometimes at night when it's rainy, it's real bad for me," says Pershing.
If there's anything you learn about Pershing it's that his love gives him strength and determination. His steps are labored, but day after day he takes them because down the hall, he knows his true love is waiting for him with a smile. She's waiting for her best friend.
"Hi babe.Go on kiss me. (she does and smiles) How do you feel?" he asks.
"I'm fine, good, " Margaret replies.
The only time Pershing ever missed seeing his beloved was when he was in the hospital. His own health failed after the stress of early mornings through late evenings visiting and caring for Margaret took its toll. Now he comes just a little later in the morning and heads home just a little earlier in the evening.
He wants to make sure to stay with her through the meal times.
"She won't eat, hard to get her to eat like she should."
Making sure she gets her nutrition and giving her a little help when she needs it. Margaret struggles to recall some memories.
"Don't you remember going to the parsonage and getting married with your daddy and momma and my daddy and momma?" asks Pershing.
Margaret replies, "Uh uh I don't remember."
But it's certain she has not lost sight of her truest love.
When asked why she loves Pershing so much she was quick to answer.
"Well he's my husband, he's my everything."
And after all these years, Pershing still has a thing for his bride.
"We have been good friends haven't we Margaret?"
"Yeah," she answers.
"That smile, she's got a good smile." Pershing remarks.
Margaret and Pershing teach a lesson to all of us about the power of love, devotion and holding true to those sacred vows-- in sickness and in health, ‘'til death do us part.
- www.WSET.com
Here's to the Golden Couples and those of us looking forward to the next 50,60,70 years.
Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood.
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